Dancing on a Star Chapter 23
Jimmy rushed out of the house when my mother entered. I think he was afraid that she would question him about staying with me while she was gone. Jimmy doesn’t hide his feelings very easily, and he probably thought he might ‘confess’ what he had done to me.
She entered the family room and approached. “Did you take your afternoon medication?” she asked. I sat up and told her that I had forgotten. I know my face flushed thinking why I had forgotten. She gave me a puzzled look and left the room. She came back with a glass of water and a handful of pills.
“Did you and Jimmy have a nice visit? She asked as I took the four pills she handed me. “I’d much rather he visit than…”
“Mother!” I shouted angrily. I knew what she was going to say, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue.
“Well,” she huffed. “You know I don’t trust those other two.” She turned and hurried from the room before I could say anything.
My mother was going to be a battle. It had been over a week since she saw me in Tracy’s room, and she still hadn’t budged an inch. Being in the hospital for several days hadn’t changed her feelings. When she visited me, I could tell she was annoyed because she had to be there.
I hate to admit it, but I was beginning to dislike my mother very much. For sixteen years, she had been wonderful. We got along well, and we hardly argued about anything. But then she sees me kissing Tracy, and our relationship changes drastically. I couldn’t understand why she was behaving the way she was. I wasn’t any different this week than I was last week; well, except for the fact my arm and leg were in casts. However, she had gone from being the nice Dr. Jekyl to the evil Mr. Hyde. I had watched a late-night movie with my sister, Karen, when my parents went out to a party. Now, my mother reminded me of the movie.
I’m beginning to believe that there is nothing I can do to change her back again. I can tell when she looks at me that she doesn’t like me. At this point, I don’t think that there is anything that Dad or I can say to here to make her change her mind. Dad says it was the way she was raised. But that doesn’t make any sense to me. I know I change how I feel about things almost daily. A few weeks ago, I thought ballet was stupid and for girls. After getting to know Tracy, my mind has changed about that. Now, I’m beginning to enjoy it. I’m also looking forward to watching Tracy dance in the Nutcracker. If someone had suggested last year that I go see it, I would have laughed and thought they were crazy.
To be honest, I’m tired of trying to get along with her. If she can’t accept the fact that I am gay, then there is probably nothing I can do to change her mind. However, I can stop her from telling me who my friends are. She’s not going to stop me from seeing Tracy and Jeff. I know there will probably be a fight every time they come to the door, but it is a fight I’m prepared for.
The pills made me sleepy. I closed my eyes and slept. I was awakened when my father came in from work. He immediately came into the room to check on me. “How’s it going, Son?” he asked as he ran his hand through my hair.
I replied, “I’m okay, Dad.” He asked if I needed anything, and I told him I would be alright. He told me that he would go ask my mother about dinner, and he would bring it to me when it was ready.
The front door opened, and Karen ran into the room. She rushed over to the side of my bed and looked down at me. Tears started to fill her eyes. “Are you okay, Jack?” she asked worriedly. “I heard you got hit by a car.” She looked at the cast on my arm, and I pulled back the sheet to let her see the cast on my leg.
“Eww,” she squealed. “That don’t look too good. Does it hurt?”
“A little bit,” I replied. She started to ask me more questions, but Mom peeked into the room and told her to leave me alone because I needed my rest. Karen gave me a quick hug before leaving.
Dad entered about an hour later carrying two plates. After I had positioned myself in bed, he handed me a plate containing meat loaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. He pulled up a chair and sat down beside me. He asked me if I was comfortable.
“I think,” I replied as I fought to eat with my left hand. When he volunteered to feed me, I laughed and told him I wasn’t a baby. Eating was a chore. Dad watched me carefully, and I could tell he wanted to help me. However, it might be several weeks before I could get the casts removed, so I was going to have to do the best I could.
When we finished, I felt an urge to go to the bathroom. I hated to ask, but nature was calling. “Dad?”
“I have to use the bathroom,” I said with a grin on my face.
“Shit!” he mumbled.
“Yeah,” I giggled. “That.”
He rose and helped me from the bed. “Just how much can you do for yourself?” he asked.
I laughed and replied, “You may have to wipe my butt.” I laughed again as he frowned and approached.
“Let’s get this over with,” he sighed.
I laughed again. I had actually gone to the bathroom by myself several times in the hospital. Other than needing help sitting on the toilet and getting up, I was able to take care of most ‘business.’ But it was still fun teasing Dad.
He helped me from the bed and led me over to the bathroom. It didn’t have a shower, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep myself clean. I would probably have to have someone help clean me. However, that wouldn’t be so bad. I enjoyed it when Jimmy wiped my body down in the hospital. I didn’t want Dad to do it, but I was sure that Tracy, Jeff or even Jimmy would have no problem volunteering to do it.
Dad helped me sit on the toilet. It was embarrassing to pull down my pajama bottoms as he watched. However, he had seen me naked at the hospital, but it was still awkward. I could tell it was awkward for him too. After helping me sit down, he closed the door.
When I finished and flushed the toilet, I called out, “Dad!”
He opened the door and exclaimed, “Jesus, Jack. It stinks in here.” We broke out in laughter. When he noticed me still standing with my pajama bottoms still at my ankles, his face reddened. “Please don’t tell me I have to wipe your shitty ass.”
I started laughing uproariously. “Yeah, Dad. I can’t do it.” He let out a deep sigh and pulled some toilet paper off the roll.
“Let’s get this over with,” he said nervously. “Bend over.”
He gave me a puzzled look when I couldn’t stop laughing. “It’s okay, Dad,” I giggled. “I already did it.” It was difficult, but I was happy it was something I could do without anyone’s help.
“You sly devil,” laughed Dad. I continued to laugh as he pulled my pajama bottoms back up. Dad asked, “Do you need to take a bath?”
“Um, Dad,” I replied. “No tub.”
“Yeah, right,” he said as he looked around. “What about a bird bath?”
Without thinking, I responded, “I’ll let Jimmy do it when he comes over later.”
“Jimmy?” surprisingly asked Dad. My face reddened as I explained that Jimmy had helped clean me at the hospital. He had trouble believing that Jimmy would do that for me.
“That is true friendship,” he said.
“Yeah, it is,” I replied. It was still hard for me to accept how Jimmy had completely changed the past couple of days. Just last week he was calling Tracy a poof. And only an hour ago, he gave me a blowjob. Things were changing, and I guess in a good way.
Around eight, the doorbell rang, and Dad answered the door. I could hear Tracy asking my father how I was feeling. Dad responded, “Why don’t you see for yourself.” Tracy came into the room followed by my father.
Suddenly, I heard my mother shout out from the kitchen, “Who is it, Dear?” I looked at my father, and he didn’t answer. A moment later, my mother peeked into the room. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Tracy standing beside my bed.
My father rushed over and gently pushed her from the room. I could hear them arguing in the kitchen. Tracy nervously looked down at me and asked how I was feeling. “I’m okay,” I responded.
We turned and looked at the door when my mother rushed out and slammed it behind her. Tracy asked, “What is going on?”
“Usual shit,” I replied. “Mom doesn’t want you here.”
Tracy asked worriedly, “You want me to go?”
“No,” I smiled. I held out my arms and said, “Come here.” He leaned forward and hugged me.
“Jack?” my father said as he entered the room. He stopped suddenly when he saw me and Tracy embracing. I looked behind him and saw my mother leaving the house.
I released Tracy and asked, “Where is Mom going?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he replied angrily. “As far as I’m concerned, she can just leave.”
“Dad!” I shrieked. “You can’t mean that.”
“I do,” he replied.
“Maybe I should go,” said Tracy. He looked at me and added, “You and your father need to talk.” He squeezed my hand before turning and heading home.
“Dad,” I asked worriedly. “Is everything okay between you and Mom.”
“No,” he said as he pulled up a chair beside the bed. “I’ve had enough of her pettiness. I don’t know what has happened to her. It’s not like I’m even living with the same woman anymore.”
“What’s going to happen?” I asked worriedly. I felt terrible because I was coming between my mother and father. Before all this happened, we were a happy family.
“I can tell you what’s not going to happen,” he responded angrily. “She’s not going to continue acting like this. She’s going to have to accept she has a gay son.”
“What if she doesn’t,” I asked. “What if she never accepts it.”
He rose and replied, “We’ll deal with that.” He then left the room.
I felt miserable. From my father’s reaction, I wasn’t sure what would happen next. What if my mother didn’t accept me? Even after the intervention and my sister’s and Darren’s attempt to change her mind, it appeared that she was even more determined not to accept that she has a gay son.
It didn’t make sense to me. Why had she turned against me? I knew that what she saw me and Tracy doing had upset her. But why did she hate me now? She seemed hateful to everyone, and now she was turning against my father for supporting me. Tension in the house was getting worse. I felt I could deal with it, but I am worried about Karen.
My mother returned a little after ten. She peeked into the family room, but then she hurried up to her bedroom. Minutes later, I heard her and my father arguing again. I was surprised when Karen came tiptoeing into the family room. She walked over to me and asked, “What is going on with Mom and Dad? Why are they always arguing?”
“I’m not sure,” I replied. Since she is only eight, I didn’t want to tell her the truth.
She asked, “Is it because you’re gay?”
“What?” Her question surprised me. From what I could tell, no one had talked to her about my sexuality.
“Is it because you’re gay?” she asked again. “I heard Mommy telling Daddy she’s mad because you’re gay.” I shrugged my shoulders and told her that could be the reason. “That’s stupid,” she replied.
I gave her a surprised look. I was wondering if I was talking to the same little sister who I had just a few days ago argued with about not leaving her dirty clothes in the bathroom. “What?” I asked again.
“Mommy shouldn’t hate you for being gay. That’s just stupid.” She repeated.
“How much do you know?”
“Duh,” she replied. “I do have ears.” I smiled when she grabbed her ears and wiggled them. She looked at me and asked, “So, are you gay?”
Tears welled up in my eyes when I asked, “Will you hate me if I tell you I am?”
“No, Dummy,” she replied. My face reddened when she added, “But you shouldn’t be kissing Tracy when Mom’s around.”
“Maybe you should go to bed,” I suggested as I looked at the clock and noticed it was past her bedtime.
“I’m going to wait down here until Mom and Dad stop arguing,” she responded as she took the remote and changed the television to the Cartoon Network. I had been watching a movie, but since Karen wanted to watch television in the family room, I didn’t say anything. I looked over fifteen minutes later, and she was sound asleep.
I stared at my little sister. I couldn’t believe how she had reacted to the fact that I am gay. I didn’t think I would ever have to discuss it with her. In a couple of years, I would be going to college, she would take over my room and it would be a topic we would never have to face for years. However, at eight, she seemed more accepting than my own mother.
My father came downstairs about an hour later and insisted that she go to bed. “Are you done arguing?” she asked him as he picked her up. My father gave me a worrisome look. He didn’t respond as he left the room with her in his arms.
Time goes slowly when you have nothing to do. I felt like a prisoner while I was in the hospital, but it seems worse here at home. At least in the hospital, there was nothing to do. But now I wanted to get out of bed and roam around the house like I have always done. I wanted to go up to my room, but I know that I’ll probably kill myself if I try to climb the stairs with my crutches.
I do get up and manage to make it to the bathroom when I need to. I’m getting stronger each day, and I can now move across the room without someone having to help me. I’m also getting better at sitting in a chair on the sofa. Today, I was able to move a chair nearer to the window so I can look out. I can see Tracy’s bedroom window, but all it does is sadden me because it will be a while before I’ll be able to watch him dance for me. I still get hard when I remember him taking his clothes off and dancing naked. I also remember his mischievous grin the next morning when he asked me if I came watching him.
But for now, I realize that there isn’t much I can do. The doctor said it could be months before I will be able to walk without the use of my stupid crutches. I’ve tried to walk a couple of times without them, but I’ll take a step and fell like I’m going to fall. If I did that while I’m alone, I could be lying on the floor for hours before anyone would discover me. I’ll just have to be careful and take my time while my body heals.
I sat at the window for about two hours before I decided to watch some television. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, someone was ringing the doorbell. I stood, grabbed my crutches and hobbled to the door. When I opened it, Jeff was standing there with an armload of books grinning at me.
“Hey,” he said as he entered the house and brushed against me. I lost my balance and started to fall. Jeff dropped the books onto the floor and grabbed me. “I’m sorry, Jack,” he apologized as he helped steady me. When he did, our faces were just inches apart. I closed my eyes when he leaned forward and kissed me.
I pulled away, smiled and said, “Hey, You. Did you miss me?”
He took my hand and rubbed it across the front of his pants. It was already erect. “What do you think?” he giggled. “Did you miss me?” He reached down and squeezed my dick. It wasn’t hard, but it started to expand as he stroked it.
I teased, “Don’t start something you can’t stop.”
“Oh,” he said lustily, “I can start.” He reached into my shorts and stroked me as I hardened.
“We’d better stop,” I said.
“Why?” he asked. “I want you now.” He dropped to his knees and took me into his mouth. When I started to lose my balance, he stood and steadied me. “Let’s go sit down on the couch,” he suggested.
“Wait,” I said as I reached over and locked the front door. The last thing I would need was for my mother to come home from work early and catch us doing something.
We sat down and he immediately started stroking me again. He embraced me, and we passionately kissed. “I’ve missed you something awful,” he said when he pulled away. “I couldn’t concentrate on anything else at school except you.”
“How is school…” I started to ask him, but he leaned forward and continued kissing me. I felt like telling him to stop, but I couldn’t. It felt too good. I knew how Jeff felt about me, and I didn’t want to lead him on. However, I was horny, and he wanted to satisfy me.
I lifted my body when he tried to pull my sweatpants down. “There it is,” he giggled. “Free at last.” He leaned forward and engulfed me into his mouth. I gasped and let out a low moan.
I was almost ready to explode into his mouth when someone rang the doorbell. “Damn,” I muttered as Jeff helped me pull my sweatpants up over my erection. I still felt that I could cum. I knew it wasn’t my mother because she would use the key. Besides, I had been listening for the garage door to go up. She seldomly parks her car in the driveway unless she is planning to go out later.
Someone continued to ring the doorbell as we hurried to make sure that there was no sign of what we had been doing. I grabbed a pillow and placed it in my lap to cover my erection. Jeff went over to the door and opened it.
“What are you doing here?” I heard Jimmy ask Jeff. He looked over at me and then back at Jeff. He then looked down at the books we had left on the floor. He asked suspiciously, “What have you guys been doing?”
I had known Jimmy most of my life, and for the first time he appeared jealous. I knew he didn’t care for Jeff, but this time it didn’t seem like it was because he was gay. “Naw,” I tried to push the thought from my mind.
“I came to see Jack,” nervously replied Jeff. He leaned down and picked the books off the floor. “I thought he might need these to catch up on his homework.”
“I was going to help him,” Jimmy replied gruffly. “He don’t need anyone else’s help.”
Jeff came over and sat down beside me. Jimmy sat down on my other side. Jeff and Jimmy kept giving each other angry glances. “How are you, Jack?” Jimmy asked.
“It’s been boring,” I replied.
“Yeah, well,” replied Jimmy. “I would have come by to keep you company, but Dad had me doing chores around the house.”
I couldn’t believe it when Jeff reached down, grabbed my hand and held it. I wanted to pull it away, but he was gripping it tightly. Jimmy looked down and then he looked into my eyes. Again, I saw a mixture of anger and jealousy. He rose from the sofa, walked over to the window and looked out.
I lifted my hand and held it before Jeff. “What are you doing?” I mouthed. I quickly looked over at Jimmy. “He’s going to kill you,” I whispered softly.
Jeff gave me a wicked grin and whispered back, “He’ll get over it.” He looked over at Jimmy who still had his back to us, and then he reached down and squeezed my dick.
“Did anyone…” Jimmy turned and saw Jeff still squeezing my dick. I held my breath because I was afraid Jimmy would try to hurt Jeff. He walked over and sat back down beside me without saying anything.
Jeff grabbed a book and handed it to me. “I talked to our teachers and I was able to get most of the assignments,” he said. He then pulled out a notebook and handed it to me. “I’ve written them here,” he said as he nervously pointed to a page. He kept glancing over at Jimmy. I think he was worried that Jimmy was going to say something about what he had seen earlier. We hadn’t talked, so he didn’t know that Jimmy was okay with me being gay. However, I wasn’t sure how he felt about Jeff.
Suddenly, Jimmy started grinning. “So, what were you guys doing,” he asked mischievously. “It took you long enough to answer the door.”
Jeff quickly looked at me. The blood drained from his face when I looked at Jimmy and said, “He was giving me a blowjob.”
“I…I …was not,” insisted Jeff as he gave me a puzzled look. He couldn’t figure out why I had told Jimmy what we were doing. I started laughing louder.
“What I figured,” responded Jimmy. He looked at the front of our pants and added, “Both of you were boned up when I came in.”
“I had a pillow over my dick,” I laughed.
“Well, Jeff was boned,” laughed Jimmy as he looked down at the front of Jeff’s pants. I looked at Jeff, and he looked like he was getting ready to pass out.
I stopped laughing and told Jimmy to knock it off. Jeff seemed extremely uncomfortable with our conversation. Afterall, Jimmy had treated him badly for years. He had been afraid of all of us, me included. It was only recently that he had confessed that he had always liked me. Now, he was puzzled about what was happening.
In a way, I was puzzled too. Jimmy seemed like he might be intentionally outing himself to Jeff. I still didn’t think that Jimmy was gay, but he certainly seemed to be interested in gay sex. At least he seemed to enjoy it with me. We really hadn’t done anything other than the blowjob he gave me the night before. I wasn’t even sure if he had gotten hard while he did it. My mother had come home before we had a chance to talk about it. I was hoping we could discuss what had happened when he came over, but I didn’t want Jeff to be present when we did.
Jimmy looked over at Jeff, grinned and then reached down and squeezed my dick.
Jeff’s eyes widened as he watched Jimmy start to stroke me. “Jimmy!” I shouted. “What are you doing?” I looked over at the surprised look on Jeff’s face. “You can’t do that. Jeff is my boyfriend.”
“I am?” asked Jeff.
“Your boyfriend?” Jimmy asked angrily. “Why didn’t you tell me last night before I sucked your dick?”
Jeff looked at me aghast. “He sucked your dick?” he squealed.
Jimmy rose from the sofa and stormed across the room. He gave me a disgusted look before muttering, “I’m outta here.” He then left, slamming the door behind him.
I rested my head back and moaned, “Shit!”
Jeff shouted, “You let Jimmy suck your dick?” He gave me a disappointed look and asked, “Why?” He rose, walked across the room and slammed the door on his way out.
“Shit!” I moaned again.