I met Jeff’s father at dinner. The way Jeff talked about him, I always pictured a large, tall man. Instead, he wasn’t much bigger than me. He weighed more, but he was short. I instantly liked him. I could see where Jeff got his sense of humor.
Jeff said he managed the family grain elevators. His grandfather started the business, and from what I could tell, they did very well. In addition, he also farmed over 200 acres of corn. Jeff, I assumed, would inherit the farm one day. We had never really discussed what he planned to do when we graduated. Looking around the dinner table, though, it just seemed like the natural thing he’d do. He fit, if you know what I mean. In a way I envied him. His future had already been decided for him.
Mr. Bench was a prankster. As I was eating, Jeff’s mother asked me a question. When I looked over to answer her, his father placed a plastic bug on top of my mashed potatoes. When I started to eat, I looked down and let out a shout. Everyone at the table erupted into laughter as my face reddened.
“Joseph, honestly,” admonished Jeff’s mother. She looked at me and apologized. “He does that to everyone.” She started smiling. “Although, I have to admit, you’ve been his best victim so far.” Again, everyone started laughing. When I looked over at Jeff, he was beaming proudly.
After dinner, I helped Jeff with his evening chores. We walked out to the barn, and I helped him feed the animals. “Dad likes you,” he said as we tossed corn around the ground for the chickens to peck at.
“He’s cool,” I responded. I started laughing at the bug in my potatoes. My father would never have thought doing something like that was funny.
As we continued the chores, I stopped and asked Jeff. “Is this going to be yours someday?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Probably. Me and Dad have talked about it.”
“Does he know you’re gay?” Jeff looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before walking over and sitting on a bale of hay.
He looked over sadly at me. “I’m not going to be gay.”
“What?” I couldn’t understand what he was saying.
“I’m not going to be gay,” he said again.
I gave him a puzzled look. “It’s not something you can just decide,” I said. “You can’t just say you’re not going to be gay.”
“Okay.” He turned to me and curled his leg onto the hay in front of us. “What we do,” he looked down at my crotch, “It’s fun. I really like doing it. I like doing it with my cousin, too.”
“So you’re gay?”
“Maybe,” he said. “I don’t know since I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
I gave him a puzzled look. “You’ve lost me. You’re either gay or you’re not.”
“Not really,” he replied as he got up. He looked out over the farm. “This will probably all be mine someday.” He turned to me. “The farm and the business. Dad and Mom expect me to get married someday. I’ll pass it on to my son.” He looked down sadly at me. “You know, keep it in the family.”
“But that’s not right,” I replied astonishingly. I couldn’t believe he was going to live his life as his family wanted him to live it without even considering how he felt.
“Sure it is,” he replied as he walked further out into the open and gazed around. “This land belonged to my great grandfather. It then went to granddaddy, daddy, and someday it will be mine. I’ll pass it on to my son. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
“But what about how you feel?”
He looked down. “I don’t expect you to understand. But I’m okay with it. It’s just the way things are. I like you, Woody. I like you a lot. What we do is fun.” He turned and started to head back toward the barn.
I ran to catch up with him. “But?”
He stopped and looked down at me. “It can’t be anything more than just fun.” He smiled gently at me. “I really like you, Woody.”
I followed him as he walked toward the house. In a way, I understood. Looking around, I could understand why he felt he had to continue what his family had established over the generations. If I was Jeff, I would feel the same way. I still hadn’t decided if I would ever come out. Maybe I’d be like Jeff, too afraid to admit I was gay. Maybe I will marry and have a family. Maybe I’ll live a lie my entire life.
The mood was somber the rest of the night. We watched television with his family for a while and then went upstairs and played a few video games on his computer. I had fun, but Jeff wasn’t his usual playful self.
Around midnight, he suggested that we should get ready for bed. I looked at his double bed. “Where do you want me to sleep?”
“You can sleep with me, if you want,” he said, “or I can fix up the sofa downstairs.”
“Where do you want me to sleep?”
For the first time all evening, I saw a twinkle in his eye. He grinned broadly as he looked down at the bed. “With me if you want.”
“Okay,” I giggled. “As long as you don’t rape me.”
He started laughing as he pulled his shirt over his head. “You can’t rape the willing.” He then removed his shorts and underwear and crawled on top of the bed naked. I hesitated for a minute before removing my clothes and joining him. A couple of hours later, we fell asleep with his arm wrapped around my chest.
I learned one thing by spending the weekend with Jeff; I could never be a farmer. I don’t like the hours. Jeff got me up around six. Six! On a weekend! We didn’t even eat before we did his chores. He said we’d eat later with his family around eight.
I could hardly keep my eyes open as I trailed behind him as he prepared to milk the cows. It got worse when his little brother came running up to me and asked if I’d like to help him collect the eggs again. “Not really,” I moaned as I sat down on a bale of hay in the barn and closed my eyes. He giggled and scurried away.
I opened them when I felt someone sit down beside me. It was Jeff. He poked me in my side and asked, “Having fun?”
“Oh, yeah,” I responded sarcastically as I closed my eyes.
Jeff poked me again with his elbow. “Wanna go to the hay loft?” I looked over and he wiggled his eyebrows.
I moaned, “Is that all you think about is sex?”
"Yeah," he laughed as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the ladder to the hay loft. Before I spent the night with him, I’d never had sex with anyone. Now, we’d had sex three times since yesterday.
Just then I heard a whistle. I looked over at Jeff.
“That’s Mom,” he said. “Breakfast is ready.” He got up and started dressing. A few minutes later we were climbing down from the hayloft. Before leaving the barn, he grabbed my arm and stopped me.
“Are you having fun?” I nodded my head. “You don’t mind what we’ve been doing then?”
I started laughing. “No. Do you feel bad about it?”
He gave me a mischievous grin. “Of course not,” he replied. Then his expression became more somber. “I just don’t want to feel like I’ve forced you into doing something you didn’t want to do.”
“You haven’t.” I turned and ran toward the house with Jeff chasing after me.
“Can I come live with you?” I asked Jeff’s mom as I took another mouthful of blueberry pancakes. She looked at me and smiled. My mom is a good cook, but Jeff’s mom is a great cook. I’d only eaten two meals, but they were two of the best I had ever eaten.
Breakfast at my house is usually a bowl of cereal. When I sat down at the Bench table for breakfast, there were five large plates in the middle of the table. One was stacked with pancakes, another with bacon, another with sausage, another with biscuits and the last one was a large plate containing scrambled eggs. I looked around, wondering if we could eat everything on the table. But with Jeff, his father and mother, Brad and two little sisters, the food quickly disappeared. I managed to grab the last biscuit before Jeff did.
When we finished eating, Jeff’s father asked us if we’d like to go with him to work. I looked over at Jeff. He shrugged his shoulders. Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting in the back of his father’s pickup truck as the cool wind blew in our faces.
I learned a lot about the business that Jeff would someday inherit. Touring the grain elevators was interesting, but they were just big towers full of corn and other grains. Mr. Bench seemed excited explaining to me how everything operated. Jeff worked with some of the other men while his father gave me a tour. I would glance occasionally at Jeff as he worked. He seemed really knowledgeable, and the other workers treated him with respect. To them, he was a man, not the teenage son of their boss.
“Well, what do you think?” Jeff had his arm over the truck bed as we headed back toward his house about six hours later. The wind was blowing his hair to the side, and he looked handsome as the sun beat on his masculine face.
I started to say, “I think I’m falling in love with you,” but I caught myself before the words left my lips. “About what?”
“About the business?”
“It’s pretty cool,” I said. “Just think, all that will be yours someday.”
“Probably,” he smiled. “But not until I’m about fifty. Dad’s still pretty young.” I looked into the cab at the back of his father’s head. He appeared to be about forty. Jeff was expecting him to live a long time.
When we returned, it was time for me to help Jeff with his evening chores. I managed to talk him out of a trip to the hayloft by promising him I’d make it up to him later that night. He readily agreed as we went about milking the cows. I was starting to get used to the smell of a barn. I guess after sharing a room with Jon all these years, I was accustomed to bad odors. The smell of manure isn’t much worse than one of Jon’s farts when he stands in the middle of the bedroom and lets one rip.
After another one of Mrs. Bench’s wonderful dinners, we headed upstairs to Jeff’s bedroom. We had no sooner entered the room when he grabbed me and tossed me onto the bed.
“Hey,” I squealed as he tried to pull off my pants
“Do you ever look at porn?” he asked as we lay staring into each other’s face. Mine immediately started to redden.
“Yeah,” I admitted.
“Cool!” he said excitedly as he jumped up from the bed. He went over to his desk, grabbed his laptop and brought it back to the bed. “Show me some.”
I looked into his expectant face. “You sure?” He nodded enthusiastically. I went to my usual site where I like to look at guys. His eyes widened when I scrolled through the page, showing him some of the guys I liked.
After several minutes, he stood and stripped off his clothes. “Get naked, Woody." I climbed off the bed, stripped naked and sat back on the bed.
“You got any other sites?” he asked. I wanted to show him the chat room, but I was scared. I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit to him that I enjoyed watching guys live on screen. I also didn’t know if I wanted to tell him that I’d done it too.
I showed him a few other sites I visited, but he seemed to lose interest. “This is getting boring,” he said after about a half hour. “Isn’t there anything better than just looking at pictures?”
I sighed deeply then typed in the chat room. “What’s this?” He looked closer at the screen.
“Watch.” I opened a live cam of a guy in his late twenties. His name was Go4It. I’d watched him before, so I knew what to expect. I giggled when Jeff’s eyes widened.
“Wow,” he muttered as he reached down and grabbed his cock. “That’s hot.”
Suddenly, the chat filled with my name. Bidad36 was the first.
Bidad36: hey elmer good to see you on
you gonna get naked for us?
Several other guys started asking me to cam. Jeff watched the chat as it scrolled quickly, then gave me a puzzled look. “Do you know these guys?” I could feel my cheeks start to redden.
“You do!” he squealed. "Do you really get on here and show these guys your body?” He looked back at Go4It. “I can’t believe this!” I didn’t know how to respond. Telling him would open up a part of my secret world. I didn’t want him to think I was some kind of a pervert.
He continued to watch as the guy on the screen. He also tried to keep up with the chat as it scrolled quickly by. He turned to me and grinned. “You’re Elmer Fudd, aren’t you?” He fell back on the bed and roared with laughter when my face turned ten different shades of red.
I looked back at the screen. “Oh, no!” I thought when I saw Indyboi come on line. “Not now,” I said silently. Connor knew I was spending the night at Jeff’s. I didn’t want him to know I was online with him. I don’t know why, but it didn’t seem right. After what happened on Thursday, I thought he might get mad if he saw me with Jeff.
Indyboi: Elmer!!!! your here
Jeff gave me a puzzled look. “Who’s that? He seems to know you.”
“Just someone who comes in the room once in a while,” I replied. I held my breath when I saw Connor’s icon light up indicating he had turned his cam on.
Before I could stop him, Jeff clicked on his cam. “He’s hot!”
Indyboi: why don’t u guys turn on ur cam
Jeff looked excitedly at me and jumped around on the bed. “Let’s do it, Woody! This will be fun!”
“No!” I shouted. “We can’t do that.” I was getting upset with Connor. He knew I was at Jeff’s house. He shouldn’t be pressuring me to do something when he didn’t even know if Jeff knew I was gay.
“Sure we can,” Jeff responded. “I got a cam built into the laptop.” He pointed to the small lens. “See.”
Indyboi: come on guys, do it
By now, several other guys were encouraging us to turn on the cam. Jeff was getting more and more excited. “Come on, Woody!” He pointed to the lens. “How does this work.”
Bidad36: guys? U with someone there Elmer?
Indyboi: hurry guys!!!!
I reached for the computer, and typed, “no connor.” I gasped when I saw what I’d done. I quickly backspaced and deleted his name before I sent it.
Jeff looked at me and his eyes widened, “Connor? Connor Radford?” He looked back at Connor’s image on the screen. “That’s Connor Radford?” He leaned toward the screen and watched Connor.
“Jeff!” I said excitedly. “I didn’t mean to type that. You got to promise me you won’t tell anyone!”
“I promise,” he replied as he looked back at the screen. “That’s Connor!” He turned and stared at me. “He’s your brother’s best friend?” I nodded. “Have you had sex with him?”
My face reddened again. Jeff started giggling. “I thought you said you hadn’t done anything with a guy?”
“I haven’t,” I said. “He just found out I was Elmer Fudd the other night."
Indyboi: come on elmer 4 me?
Bidad36: 4 me 2
“Come on, Woody,” Jeff pleaded. “I want to watch you and Connor cam together.” He turned and looked at Connor. “Please?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. Camming alone was one thing, but doing it with Jeff beside me was another. I looked over at his excited face. He was really enjoying the idea of me joining Connor online.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m probably making a big mistake.” I clicked on the cam feature and waited a second to see if it would work on Jeff’s laptop. My heart started beating when I saw the cam light come on. A second later an image appeared on the screen. It was pointed toward the floor. I positioned it so that it was showing my naked body.
Indyboi91: yeah!!!!
Bidad36: there it is again
Jeff started giggling when he read how the guys were getting excited about seeing me. Since I had turned on my cam, there were now two screens, mine and Connor’s. Jeff’s eyes kept going back and forth between the screens.
“Do it, Woody,” he whispered. He giggled when he read the chat talk.
Indyboi: lets do this Elmer
I gasped when he reached over and grabbed me. I looked quickly at the screen. You could plainly see his hand.
Of course, that began a series of responses. Thirty-three guys were begging to see Jeff.
Bidad36: who’s that?
Indyboi91: show him too
Jeff started to giggle. “Let me show it.” He reached for the computer to turn it towards him.
I stopped him. “This isn’t a good idea, Jeff,” I warned. “Connor will know it’s you. I told him I was coming to your house this weekend.”
“So?” he responded. "Do you really think he’s going to tell someone?” He looked back at Connor. “Besides, I’d love to have sex with him.”
“You would?” When I gave Jeff an astonished look, he started laughing. “ Yeah. He’s hot!”
He grabbed the computer and moved it toward him. I looked at the screen. Jeff’s body was visible."
Indyboi: damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Bidad36: u said it Indy
The chat scrolled quickly as guys commented on Jeff.
Indyboi: show both together
A dozen guys agreed with Connor’s comment. Jeff moved the computer so that both of our bodies were showing. He looked up at me and grinned. “Let’s give these guys a show.” The chat room was going crazy. We had almost seventy guys watching us.
Indyboi: that's hot
Twenty minutes later, the show was over. Connor left, and I hit the icon and turned ours off. Jeff jumped from the bed and started dancing around the room.
“That’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever done!” I laughed as I watched him. “I can’t believe we had cam sex with Connor!”
As I watched his excitement, I silently prayed that I hadn’t made a mistake.