I’ve emailed Ryan at least fifty times. I called him several times, but he turned his cell phone off. I’ve really tried to apologize to him, but how can I when he keeps ignoring me? I don’t know what came over me. I really liked Ryan; I may have even been falling in love with him.
It’s that fucking Bobby and Mark’s fault. If they hadn’t been around trying to have sex with me, then none of this would have happened. Bunch of fags. And then they have the nerve to sit in the cafeteria and look at me. I wish Randall wasn’t so tall. I’d fight him, but he’d probably kill me. He’s always flipping me off. I don’t even know his ass. What the fuck does he have against me?
They are going to get theirs though. They came on to me. When I gave it to them, they cried like babies. I don’t know how, but I’m going to get even. Now I’ve lost Ryan because of them.
I tried to kick Mark’s ass in gym, but that fucking behemoth stopped me. He grabbed me around my neck and then hit me in my stomach. Every one saw it. He humiliated me in front of all my friends.
That’s all right. I have a surprise for them. I’ve got some connections. One of my friends told me about someone who sells guns. They’re expensive because they have the serial numbers filed off, but I can afford it. I have a few hundred dollars I’ve had for a couple years.
I emailed Ryan again in class and he finally agreed to meet with me. I told him I loved him and begged him to forgive me. He seemed mad at me, but that was to be expected. He said he’d meet with me on one condition- I’d let him fuck me.
I don’t know why he made that demand. I’ve never bottomed for anyone in my life. I always swore I’d never let anyone do it to me. I’ll suck a guy, but I really don’t like the idea of letting some guy stick his dick in my ass.
However, I really want to see Ryan again. If it means giving up my virginity to him, then I guess I will. He wants me to meet him at his aunt’s home next Saturday. He said she was on vacation and we’d have the house to ourselves. I’d do anything to see him again. This time I’m not going to mess up.
I really hate Mark and Bobby. They keep staring at me like they know something. I’d kick both their scrawny asses, but I’d have to go through Randall and Richard to do it. I’d get some of my boys to help me, but I don’t think they would be willing to fight the star basketball player.
He and Richard also seem to be a little too close. I know that Richard’s a fag, but I wouldn’t think someone like Randall would be. He is, after all, Mr. BMOC. No way could he be gay, could he?
I can’t wait until tomorrow. I finally get to see Ryan again. I’m riding my bike to his house and then we’re going over to his aunt’s. It should be fun. We won’t have to worry about making noises while we have sex. Of course, if we scream loud enough, her neighbors might hear us.
I was looking out my window and saw Mark ride by on his bike. I think I’m really going to think of something good to get revenge for all the trouble he and Bobby have caused me. I grabbed a handful of my aunt’s barbiturates from a bottle in the medicine cabinet. If I can somehow get one of them alone, I’ll slip it in a drink. Then I can take him someplace and fuck him. He won’t know what happened. That would be so cool.
I arrived at Ryan’s house around one. He was sitting on the porch waiting for me. He walked down to meet me, and we walked about three blocks to his aunt’s house. I thought it was strange that the door wasn’t locked, but I guess in a small town like this you can live without worrying about someone coming in and stealing everything you own.
Ryan told me to have a seat on the couch while he walked into the kitchen and made me a drink. I’ve had a few beers at parties before, but this was my first time drinking real alcohol. He said it was a rum and coke. It was really strong and burned my chest going down. As soon as I finished one, he’d make me another. By the time I was on my third drink, I was beginning to feel light-headed. I noticed he was still sipping on his first one.
The drinks were also making me extremely horny. We made out for a few minutes. I took his shirt off and rubbed his hard cock through his pants. I then stood and grabbed his hand to find a bedroom, but he insisted we have sex on the living room floor. I thought it was weird at first, but then I realized that his aunt would probably come home and notice someone had been in her bed.
After a few minutes, we were lying naked on the floor. I was trying to put him in a position so I could fuck him, but he reminded me that I had promised to let him fuck me. When he began inserting his finger in my ass, I told him I couldn’t go through with it. He rose and started to dress.
“Go to Hell,” he spat angrily. “Don’t ever call me again.”
I knew I’d never see him again if I didn’t go through with it; so I told him I would, “Just for you.”
He pushed my knees back to my shoulders and began licking my ass. God, it felt good. If I had known I’d like it so much, I would have let guys do it to me before now. Suddenly, he shoved his middle finger deep into my ass.
“Ouch!” I screamed. “That hurt.”
He told me to, “Quit acting like a baby and take it like a man.”
Next, he lubed his cock and poured some on my ass. I thought we’d make out a little more before he fucked me. I was giving my virginity to him, and I wanted to make it feel special.
Instead, he moved up to my ass and shoved his cock into me. The pain was excruciating. I couldn’t stand the searing pain. I looked into his face and he seemed to be enjoying hurting me. He was looking down at me and smiling.
He continued the assault on my ass. After a while, it actually started to feel pleasurable. He kept hitting a spot that was really getting me turned on. My cock was hard as a rock. I was thrashing around on the floor, moaning in pleasure.
“Fuck me!” I screamed. “Yeah, fuck me harder!”
“Yeah, Bitch!” yelled Ryan. “You got a nice pussy ass.” He pushed my legs back further and continued to violently fuck me.
Suddenly, I felt his cock expand as he began pumping his cum into my ass. I couldn’t hold mine any longer, and I began spewing cum onto my stomach. It may have started out painful, but I had really enjoyed Ryan fucking me.
I tried to kiss him, but he suddenly got up and started dressing. When I asked him why he was leaving, he gave me some lame excuse about having to mow his yard.
An immense feeling of remorse swept over me. I felt cheap. I had given him my virginity, and he was acting like I was a whore he’d fucked in an alley somewhere. Of all the things that had occurred in my life, his lack of emotion and caused me the most sorrow.
I wanted to cry as I followed him out the door and trailed behind him to his house. Not once did he turn and say anything to me. I had really felt that I was falling in love with him, but I knew that he had taken advantage of me. I had been set up. I realized he was merely paying me back for what I’d done to Bobby at the theater.
“Can I see you next week?” I asked sadly, already knowing the answer.
“I have something to do,” he said without looking back at me.
“Can I call you?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he responded. “Whatever.” I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in front of him and give him the satisfaction that he had gotten the best of me.
Suddenly, a car pulled up beside us. I looked over as Randall jumped out and grabbed me. Richard was sitting in the driver’s seat.
“Let me go!” I screamed. “You mother fucker. Get your hands off me.” I tried to pull away, but he had a strong grasp on me.
“What’s going on?” shouted Ryan. “What are you doing to him?”
“He’s going for a little ride,” replied Randall as he dragged me over to the car, opened the back door and shoved me in. I could hear Ryan yelling that he was going to call the cops. At least I knew he had nothing to do with what was happening.
Randall got in the back seat with me as Richard drove away. I tried to open the door, but Randall was sitting on me as he tried to get my hands behind my back. I continued to struggle but I was in an awkward position. When I felt him tying my hands with tape behind my back, I started to panic.
When I began to scream, he pulled some tape off and put it across my mouth. It pulled on my lips when I tried to yell, so I knew it was useless to continue to struggle.
“You’ve been nothing but trouble since you got into town,” Randall said angrily. “You’ve made life a living hell for Mark and Bobby, even Richard. Now you’re going to get a little bit of your own medicine.”
I was scared. I had no idea what they planned to do to me. Randall sounded angry. Although, he seemed to be a pretty decent guy at school, I wasn’t sure what he was capable of doing.
“You cooperate with us,” he said. “and we won’t hurt you. We’re just going to teach you a lesson. Understand?”
I nodded my head. It was worse than anything my father had ever done to me. I felt completely helpless. I was taped up in the backseat of a car with two guys who didn’t like me. I was afraid of what they had planned for me.
It must have been about a half hour later when I sensed we’d pulled into a driveway. I heard a garage door open and we pulled in. The door closed and it got dark inside. Randall opened the door and pulled me out of the backseat.
“Sit over here,” he ordered as he led me to a patio chair. “We’re going to keep you here for a while.” I nodded my head as he pushed me into the chair. When he taped my legs and arms to the chair, tears began to flow down my face.
“Not so tough now,” Richard said as he stepped in front of me, “without your friends around.” I looked at him and continued to cry. His smile faded to a sad expression. Randall grabbed his arm and pulled him from the garage.
I must have sat in that dark garage for hours. I could tell it was getting darker outside as the light under the garage door disappeared. Another problem began occur- I had to take a piss. I was afraid if I sat here much longer, I’d pee all over myself.
The garage door opened and Richard and Randall came walking back in. They approached and circled around me.
“You all right?” Randall asked. “We’re not going to hurt you, so relax.” I nodded my head. I started jiggling so they would understand I had to pee.
“What’s he doing?” Richard asked Randall.
“I think he has to piss,” laughed Randall. I started nodding my head quickly.
They removed the tape from my feet and then walked me outside behind the garage. Richard unbuckled my pants and pulled them down to my knees. I immediately started pissing. They laughed as I relieved myself.
“Damn,” giggled Randall. “I guess he did have to go.”
They led me back inside and returned me to the chair. Randall ripped the tape from my mouth, and I screamed out in pain. I think he took half my lip with it.
“Now listen, Shithead,” he said angrily as he leaned down into my face. “I already told you, we’re not going to hurt you. Make a sound and we tape you back up, got it?” I nodded.
“Here.” Richard held a glass of water to my mouth. “Drink this.” I greedily gulped the cold water. It had been hours since I had anything to drink.
“What are you going to do with me?” My voice shook with fright.
“Didn’t I tell you not to speak?” Randall walked over and leaned again into my face. “One more word and the tape goes back on.” I could feel tears welling up once again in my eyes.
“And don’t cry!” he yelled. But it was useless. Tears were once again streaming down my face. I don’t know if I was more scared or hurt. Feelings of once again being under someone’s control overcame me. I recalled all the beatings my father had given me over the years.
“Do we still have to do this?” Richard asked. “It doesn’t seem right now.”
“Damn, Richard.” Randall looked over at him. “This was your idea. I thought you wanted to get even with him.”
“I do,” he said. “But it doesn’t seem as much fun now that we’re actually doing it.”
“Well. We have to go through with it now,” he replied, “or he’ll have us arrested.”
“No I won’t!” I shouted. “Honest. I won’t say a word to anyone.”
“Yeah, right,” he said angrily. “As soon as we let you go, you’ll sing like a canary.”
He walked over and raised me from the seat and led me over to the car. He opened the door and shoved me once again into the back seat.
“Where are you taking me?” I was beginning to panic. I had felt safe in the garage, but now they were going to take me somewhere else.
“I told you to shut up,” Randall responded as he sat in the back seat with me. “Don’t try anything funny.” Richard opened the garage door and we pulled off. I was afraid of where they were taking me. They said they weren’t going to hurt me, but it didn’t still didn’t allay my fears.
We must have driven for about ten minutes. Randall held my head down so I couldn’t see where we were going. The car slowed and we rode for another minute before stopping.
“We’re here,” Randall said. “Get out.” He pulled me up and helped me out of the car. It was dark out, but I realized right away where we were. We were in the parking lot of the football stadium.
Randall turned me around and ripped the tape off my wrists. I screamed out in pain. He held my arm tightly so I couldn’t run away. Richard also stood before me, watching carefully.
“Take your clothes off,” ordered Randall. I stood stunned before him.
“What!” I shrieked. I couldn’t understand why they wanted me naked. The first thing that crossed my mind was that they were going to rape me.
“I said take your clothes off, or I’ll rip them off.” He gave me a deadly look. I slowly toed off my shoes and began removing my clothes. Soon I stood before them naked.
“What are you going to do to me?” I started to cry. “Please don’t rape me.”
“Shut up, Scott!” Richard shouted. “No one’s going to hurt you.”
Randall held my arm tightly as he led me out to the stadium. I was trying to fight my way free, but he was really strong. There was no way I could break the grip he had on me.
He led me over to the goal post, stood me up against it and placed my arms around it. Richard started taping my arms around the post.
“No, Please!” I screamed. I knew what they were planning to do. They were going to leave me here naked so that everyone could see me when they arrived at school in the morning.
“Please!” I begged. “I’ll do anything you want. Please don’t do this.” Tears were falling down my cheeks. They ignored my pleas and continued taping me to the goal post. They tested the tape several times to make sure I couldn’t break free.
When they finished, Randall pulled out a switchblade. I could see its shiny blade glistening in the moonlight. I thought my life was over. They were going to kill me and leave my dead body tied to the goalpost. I started screaming hysterically.
“Would you just shut the fuck up!” Randall screamed. He walked over and grabbed my balls and held the knife to them.
“Now listen,” he said coldly, “and listen good. If you tell anyone who did this to you, I’m going to bring you back out here and cut your nuts off. You understand me.”
I continued to cry as he ran the blade against my rapidly shriveling balls. They were trying to disappear into my body. I nodded my head.
“Say it,” he ordered.
“I won’t say anything,” I cried. “I swear.”
“You better not,” he said. “Unless you want to be a eunuch.”
“Nice piece, by the way.” He laughed as he stroked my cock. I could hear Richard giggling off to the side. “Too bad if I have to cut it off.”
I started crying again as they walked off.
“No!” I shouted. “Please don’t leave me here like this!”
They continued walking, never looking back. I shouted at them to come back and let me free, but they got in the car and drove off. I was left alone, naked and taped to the goalpost. I had no idea what time it was. It had been dark for several hours, so I assumed it must be past midnight.
After what seemed like several hours, my arms were getting extremely tired. I had been trying to tear the tape by working my hands free, but I was bound tightly. Because they had also bound my legs, I was becoming weak from standing.
I don’t think I stopped crying all night. I knew that in the morning students would arrive and notice the predicament I was in. I would be the laughing stock of the school. How could I ever return after everyone seeing me tied naked to the goalpost?
I had always hated my life, but I don’t think I had anymore than I did that night. Throughout the night I remembered every whipping my father had given to me. I relived the two years I was shunned at school because of my father’s trial. I could feel every time I was pushed into a locker or hit in the back by an unknown student.
I even saw the poor, pathetic faces of Mark and Bobby as I had made their lives a living hell the past couple of months. I was beginning to regret everything I had done to them. My cruelty had brought me to the place I now was. And I hated myself. I hated my life- past and present. I was hoping that a storm would come up and perhaps a bolt of lightning would hit the goalpost and kill me.
The nightmare was only beginning as the sun began to peek above the horizon. In another hour the buses would begin to arrive. As they let students off in front of the school, I’d be clearly visible to them.
When the buses did pull up, students started hanging out the windows and pointing at me. I closed my eyes and hung my head. I had never been so humiliated in my life. It seemed like within minutes, the entire school had emptied out and was standing around the goalpost laughing at me.
I looked up and saw Mark and Bobby approach. Mark fell to the ground laughing. I screamed out that I was going to kill him when I was freed. It only caused him to laugh harder.
Dr. Johnson finally appeared with a security officer. He cut me down and handed me his jacket to cover myself. He grabbed me by my arm and quickly led me back into the school. Students were laughing wildly as I walked through the corridor to the office with my bare ass exposed.
Once in Dr. Johnson’s office, she appeared and handed me a blanket. I wrapped it around myself and broke out in tears.
“Can you tell me who did this to you?” she asked angrily. I could only shake my head. I remembered what Randall had said about cutting my balls off. If he had done this to me, then I didn’t think he’d give it much thought to carry out his threat.
“No, Ma’am,” I cried. “I was blindfolded the whole time.” She could tell I was lying, and she kept insisting I had to know. I continued to deny it.
“I’ve called your uncle,” she said. “He’s on his way.”
I started shaking uncontrollably. I knew the temper he had. He definitely would not be happy with what had happened.
“Where is my fucking nephew?” I heard him shouting outside the office minutes later. He came barging into the office with the school secretary trying to hold him back.
Dr. Johnson assured her it was all right. She rolled her eyes and walked out. My uncle took one look at me and started swearing again.
“Where are your fucking clothes?” he shouted.
Dr. Johnson explained how I had been taped naked to the goalpost, and that the entire student body had witnessed the event.
“Call the god damned police,” he insisted. He walked over and picked up the phone. “If you don’t, I will. Some pervert needs to be arrested.”
Just then, the security officer entered the room with Bobby. He looked over at me and lowered his head. I knew he had to be the one behind the plot.
“Who the fuck is this?” My uncle rose from his chair and headed over to him. The security officer stepped between them.
“You the pervert who did this to my nephew?” he shouted. Bobby seemed visibly shaken. Before he could say anything, a well-dressed man entered the room. I was told he was the superintendent of the schools.
He asked me what happened, as my uncle continued to rant. When I said I didn’t know who did it, Uncle Roger rose and headed towards me.
“You fucking liar!” he shouted as the security guard grabbed him. “You know who did this. Tell them so they can be arrested.”
I looked over at Bobby. I was getting ready to tell them that I suspected that he and Mark were responsible; however, the secretary opened the door and told Dr. Johnson to turn on the television.
My mouth dropped when I saw the screen. I was lying on my back with Ryan’s cock deep inside me. I was begging him to fuck me. My face began to redden as tears filled my eyes. First, the entire school had seen me naked at the goal post. Now they were witnessing me being fucked by another boy.
Dr. Johnson quickly turned off the television and disappeared quickly from the room. My uncle rose and headed towards me with his fists balled.
“You fucking fag!” he screamed. It took the security officer and the superintendent to hold him back from hitting me. All I could do was sit wrapped up tightly in the blanket and cry. They finally managed to drag my uncle from the room.
I was left alone with Bobby. I looked up and saw him staring at me.
“You happy?” I mumbled through tearful eyes.
“Yeah,” he said confidently. “I am. You deserved it.”
We sat quietly for another minute until Dr. Johnson, the superintendent, the security guard and my uncle returned to the room. The security guard remained close to Uncle Roger.
“Get your ass up, Boy!” he shouted. “We’re going home. I’m calling your aunt in Arkansas. You can take your faggot ass there and live. You’ll not stay in my house another day.”
“What about the police charges?” Dr. Johnson asked.
“There will be no charges!” My uncle shouted as he looked down angrily at me. “He got what he deserved!” He grabbed my arm and pushed me out the door. He pulled me down the hall as I clung to the blanket.
After we left the office, I saw Mark, Richard and Randall standing in a corner talking. They stopped and looked at me. I expected them to laugh, but they didn’t. However, I knew they were happy seeing me totally disgraced. I guess my uncle and Bobby were right- I did deserve what happened to me.
The next few hours went by quickly. I was told to pack my belongings while my uncle called my mother’s sister in Arkansas. I had only met her a few times. Uncle Roger didn’t even give her a chance to refuse. He told her if she didn’t take me, he was going to kick me out into the streets.
So at 4:37 in the afternoon, I was on a plane to Arkansas. California was now a part of my past.